I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
