you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
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