its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
