the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
