Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
