We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
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