Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
