I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
