Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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