You just made me feel so damn special
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
