good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
