the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize