we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
