I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
