In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
