i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
