singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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