guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
