Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
