i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
