it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
