why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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