I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
