i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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