just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
