Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
