she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
