i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
