forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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