Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
