I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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