it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
