I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
