So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
