How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just sent this text using only my big toe
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
