Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize