If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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