thus making me awesome and them whores
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
