I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
