i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
