i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
