That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
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