i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
