My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
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