just come out here and I will go home with you...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
