Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
