i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Randomize
