I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
