I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just made my gag reflex go away.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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