Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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