Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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