someone owes me an orgasm
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
