I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
