i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
