Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
