it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize