everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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