I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
