We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize