could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
