I heard we made out
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
