we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
