So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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